Category Archives: Blog


Dear Everyone,

The roller coaster ride gets even more rocky! On March 26th I was transferred from the McConnell Unit. It was not a surprise to me; I knew they would eventually try to distance themselves from me in light of their frivolous Seg’n of me and the fact that I’m challenging it legally. But, this isn’t going to stop that process.

Of course, they chose to get me as far away from my support system as possible and moved me to Abilene. This puts me 7 hours away from the person that visits me the most, 5 hours away from my family in San Antonio and 4 hours away from my lawyer in Austin. It’s a typical tactic to isolate an individual from his support system.

TDC allows inmates to put in for a “Hardship Transfer” based on family medical problems. Since my father and grandfather both had severe medical problems we have put in for a transfer back to my region (something they could have done from the beginning). Let’s hope it happens soon.

For 3 days I zig zag’d through Texas.

Day 1: left McConnell and stopped at Connally Unit, Stevenson Unit and a pre-release facility. The final destination was Darrington Unit in Rosharon, TX. In company with me was Marc Garrett (the man who openly admitted to committing the said assault I’m in Seg for). Garrett was sent to Darrington and assigned there (take note: even Garrett is closer to San Antonio than me. Rosharon is right by Houston).

Day 2: I left Darrington and went straight to the Walls Unit in Huntsville. What memories I had going there. I stayed there for the night.

Day 3: The next morning I left the Walls. We made a stop at Hughes Unit then came straight to Robertson.

While the scenery was a treat for the eyes the pain from the cuffing wasn’t. Shackled from hands to feet is no pleasantry. The nerves on my left thumb are still numbed.

When you leave on chain you are allowed to bring one bag of property with you (so one must choose wisely what you wish to have). While policy says that property should reach you within 21 days or so sometimes it can take up to 2 months. I received the rest of my property on May 10th. Not too bad considering.

And so Robertson it is for a while. There’s nothing better to report. Well, it seems you trade one thing for another. I traded off bad conditions and decent guards for good conditions and a band of malicious guards. I don’t think I’ve seen guards as hateful as these. And when I say hateful I don’t mean guards that simply enforce the rules. I have no problem with being punished for any rule I break. But, these guards go out their way to provoke you and ransack your stuff. I’ve already gone through it once while being here and had property of mine confiscated. But, I’m going to go out of my way to fly as straight as an arrow because I have bigger fights ahead. I recall reading a piece of philosophy that said Wisdom was not just about knowing HOW to fight a battle, but WHEN! I think I’ll adhere to that.

One thing about it is I understand where I am. I have no illusions about it. Sometimes some (not all) of these guards will come through and they want to go “hardcore” with you.

Taking you to recreation or shower they’ll strip you out, do a full cavity search (open your mouth, lift your testicles, turn around and spread your cheeks). Not nice, but it IS a rule they can enforce. A lot of inmates will get into arguments with the guards about it. In turn they don’t come out of their cell for not complying with policy. By the time they get to my cell I’m already naked. NOT cause I enjoy the process but because 1) I’m not going to let them beat me and deny me what I’m due and 2) I already have the mentality that THIS IS PRISON! THIS IS NOT A SUMMER CAMP OR A COLLEGE CAMPUS! This is prison, I know what it’s about. For guys that have a lot of time to do I suggest they get ready because it’s getting worse. I’m ready for whatever they got!

As we speak I’m gearing up to challenge the Seg situation, I’m cranking out good enlightening material to the public and I’m preparing for another round in the 2013 Legislature. At the end of every storm the sun will shine again. I think it’s my time to bask in it.

Do stay tuned. Much more to come.


Today’s ESSENCE TALK deals with a very sensitive and important topic for me. I was blessed to read about this topic as it’s one that I daily encounter. It comes from the March 2012 edition. It’s an article called “How to bounce back from betrayal”, which comes from the book “Let It Go: Forgive So You Can Be Forgiven” by Bishop T;D. Jakes. The Bishop’s words were wise and powerful, to say the least, and they hold an abundance of lessons.

This article dealt with 3 main things:
1) Not letting bitterness take root
2) Forgiveness (of others and yourself)
3) Healing on the above 2 issues and moving forward As a prisoner (since 1996) I have faced a mass of bitterness, rage, doubt and repeated mistakes. However, I’m proud to say, I’ve never been content with failure or low morale. I have been blessed enough to mature- mentally and spiritually- and have carried a desire to improve myself in mind, body and soul. That’s not to say the trip has been easy or even will be. I’m glad to say that Bishop T.D; Jake’s words act as a light in shinning down this dark road I’m on.
It’s amazing how the Bishop describes the negative things that take root in our lives (and can poison us) as “weeds”. Weeds reach up in gardens and strangle out the beauty and nutrients flowing n it. And there’s no better way to describe prison. Prison is like a garden with all different forms of seeds in it- each with a potential to sprout up- but have been overcome by weeds. In this garden some items do grow, while other do perish. Through neglect he weeds sprout. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Through my incarceration period I have faced every piece of rage, bitterness, error and doubt. As a death row prisoner (formerly) we were portrayed as the worse of the worse- unredeemable. Many people knew better and they displayed such by reaching out to death row inmates. And it was that single act which changed my life. It was the act of compassion. Although compassion is defined as “sympathy, pity, sympathetic, merciful”, there is an element of forgiveness in there too, because to forgive is to grant a pardon. When people can look past where you are, your circumstances, and still treat you with love and respect like a human being, son or friend, which is a force which you cannot resist changing for. In compassion is a greater understanding to humanity, and when you are touched by compassion you are touched in the most divine way.
Part of the bitterness that was stuck inside me was not just because of the delinquency that existed within me. If you look at the world delinquency you’ll see that it doesn’t just mean a person committing crime, but it is “one who fails to perform a duty or to fill an obligation”. That is one of the most horrible feelings in the world.
So, my journey has been one of forgiving myself before I could forgive others. The Bishop details how this inner bitterness will lead to sure disaster. As the Bishop describes it: “it feels like the grief will drown us, smother us, choke us with its unspeakable immensity.” There is no one recipe on how to release yourself from such grief as a prisoner, but all prisoners must understand that there is a way. As the Bishop says: “The grief can be like an antiseptic that cleanses and purifies the contamination that has infiltrated the depths of our heart.”
Regardless of your religion, race or creed there is a way to overcome your oppressors and touch the lives of others. It begins with letting go of the bitterness (FIRST) then learning how to reach other. The latter is no simpler a task than he former. Learning how to reach people that are different than you, worse or better than you is a task. But, human advancement is always made through building bridges and not dropping bombs.
One of the things that I daily suffer from is anger. I’m angry at the system being so severe on me and not allowing me a second chance. The reality of the matter is (which I had to come to grips with) anger was getting me no where. The Bishop said it in a way that I’ve never heard it before, though at some point I felt it delivered upon me: “Anger held is not love replaced. The reality is that love is stronger than death.”
What I must continue to do is turn my anger into love and let my love be reflect into my work, onto those that love me and up to God that has blessed me. As the Bishop said- I must “move from incarcerating MYSELF to rehabilitating myself.” Because I’m living for something and when I reach my goal there must be no anger trailing me. That needs to be left behind with the shackles and handcuffs. For as Bro. Jakes explains:“If you allow an offense to have free reign, it will eat up opportunities you didn’t even know were waiting just beyond the test.”So, instead of letting the offense have free reign, I’m going to let the reins go of the offense.
I’m far from being the person I’m meant to be, but I’ve come a long way from the person I used to be. I’m still learning who I should and should not be. I’m also learning to discern dead weight from good weight. For those around me that don’t want to grow, they must be treated as dead weight and let go to the wayside (lest I drown with them). The good weight- the life preserver- is the weight to hold on to. The 3 sides to the life preserver (as the Bishop broke down) is: Admit it
Convert it
Close it There is no easy way to this level of life. Just as with keeping a beautiful and growing garden- it must constantly be tended to, pruned, watered, nourished and harvested. You see, the harvest is one of the most important elements, not just because you are reaping your profits, but because some of those profits will gradually make its way back to the surrounding community. By advancing your society you advance yourself. One pebble makes a thousand ripples. The deeds of your work is felt far and wide, not just in your own belly.We often hear the saying- “Let Go and Let God”. I don’t interpret that as saying just stop and let some unseen force do it for you. No matter what you call your “God” there is an ideology to your God. No matter if it’s Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Catholicism etc… I’ve never read a message of theirs where their God says to be evil, to hate, to be in despair, to not love. Regardless of the different rules and regulations of each I just don’t see those things. So, in my view, to “let go and let God” means to put your own ideas to the side and live out the ideologies of God. In other words, let the way of God move into your way. Be God The Most High, The Universal Way or All That Is Good… Let God!The plight continues. And thanks to Bishop T.D Jakes I have a little bit more information on how to get there. So, not only are these lessons on how to bounce back, but to bounce ahead. Peace and Blessings.


This ESSENCE TALK is taken from the February 2012 edition where writer Jeannine Amber (who’s fabulous, by the way) takes on a group of single and happily married bloggers for a heated discussion about the romance rules we’ve been told never to break. There are three men and three women.

Although I’ve been incarcerated for a while, I feel I haven’t lost my sense for being social. And while prison is a society within a society it’s very detached from the real world in many sense. There has to be a practice and a discipline in place to maintain a “normal” behavior pattern. I’m thankful to correspond regularly with activists, poets, teachers, parents and just everyday people. So, I feel I’ve kept up with the times and still possess some fly-cool-fresh-hip-ness.
I’m going to cite the taboo subject and the verdict that ESSENCE came up with about the topic. Then I’m going to add my 2 cents to the conversation. Afterall, sometimes I just imagine myself sitting inbetween these groups participating in the discussion. Practice! I have to make sure I can keep up with the crowd when I get out. So, let’s get to it.


Taboo Topic: If he’s dated your friend, he’s off-limits.
Essence’s Verdict: “If your friend and her ex are officially broken up, he’s up for grab. But be a woman and talk to your friend before making a move.”


Kenneth’s Verdict: Hell no! I understand the whole concept of “sparks” and “connections.” HOWEVER, this is my bottom line view- if your friend had eyes for him afterwards she probably had eyes for him beforehand. In today’s society there’s enough going on to where your friend should be out finding someone for herself. Afterall, what’s the comfort level going to be if she hooks up with your ex and yall want to have card night or double date? It’s going to be awkward and at some point— you better believe it— something is going to come up about it. Why take the risk? Be a friend and befriend someone else!


Taboo Topic: Never tell a man how many men you’ve been with before him.
Essence’s Verdict: “If he asks for your magic number, evade, challenge, deflect and redirect. Change the subject, then tell him he shouldn’t be asking in the first place”


Kenneth’s Verdict: Never say never! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. This depends on a few things: the maturity of the people involved, how serious the relationship is and if it’s a mutual topic. One, if you’re that concerned about it you must either be too obsessed about it or you’re too immature for a relationship. However, if she’s asking, you’re entitled to know too. If the relationship is young, it’s not an appropriate question. If that question comes early in the relationship that’s a sign to the man or woman of their partner’s maturity. Start assessing the behaviors. You could save yourself some stress. But, if the relationship is solid and has endured- so what? It’s the past. If your partner can’t accept the number then I’d say that’s a sign of lack of maturity. To me, this is a small question, but it carries serious revelations of the person you’re with. It’s case by case, so don’t deflect it, explore it.


Taboo Topic: if you want a relationship, don’t have sex too soon.
Essence’s Verdict: “Some men don’t care how quickly you have sex. Others will hold it against you. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, proceed with caution until you know what kind of man you’re dealing with.


Kenneth’s Verdict: I couldn’t have said it better!


Taboo Topic: To keep your man from cheating, try new things in the bedroom.
Essence’s Verdict: “Keeping it spicy in the bedroom is good for your relationship. DO it for you, not to keep a cheater from cheating.”


Kenneth’s Verdict: Yes and No! It’s all about “the line.” What is “the line”? The line is the measure of comfort and safeness. Let me tell it better with a joke:

“What is the difference between freaky and perverted? Freaky is tickling you with a feather. Perverted is tickling you with the whole chicken!”


WHOA! You should know if you’re with a freak or a pervert. If you know what you got your hands on then don’t be afraid to pep it up. If it’s understood that you’re a plain and simple type of girl then he should know if he should be locking in with you or not. It’s all about what you are or what you are not. You may not start off on some S&M type stuff, but if it’s in you, and you KNOW he likes it, go ahead and deliver the goods and keep it hot, spicy and lasting. Don’t hold out because you think you’re living up to some feminist requirement.


Taboo Topic: Constantly broadcasting how independent you are can keep you from finding love.
Essence’s Verdict: Handle your business but beware of using your strength as a way to barricade yourself against intimacy.”


Kenneth’s Verdict: I second that motion!


That’s my 2 cents on the matter. But, I’d like to close this off with a poem of mine (since we’re exploring the elements of love).



ahhh…u see
that is a very long story
and one that i probably cannot fully tell as
it is still unfolding w/
every day, every thought, every breath.
i just know that
she appeared
out of the blue-
for one reason or another,
that which i am unaware of
and can’t seem to grasp, but
really don’t care to, because
it is and
it feels good and
since when do people question good?
u don’t-
or at least shouldn’t
coz it is
and u should just let it be
and do what it do.
i’m getting off track
and she seems to do that to me sometimes.
we be like roller coasters-
up and down. up and down.
u know?
but it’s a thrill!
so anywayz
as i was saying-
she floated to me
kind of like an enigma.
she was like a
rubix cube
and i shifted this way
and that way-
was trying to line it all up, but
it wasn’t so easy.
the connections were so incredible :
numbers, past, words, books;
and so i seemed to
naturally feel
the feelings felt
by one who was open to emotions.
she tsunamied me-
in other words
flooded me
and many times
i thought she was
purposely trying to drown me,
but maybe i was just forgetting how to swim.
i don’t know yet,
because that’s one of those things
i have yet to pinpoint.
she’s so damn rebellious
and she’s always fighting me,
but it’s kind of like the story of
what it means when a
little girl teases
the little boy.
we all know that story
and what it means
though she refuses to tell me
but swears she is.
it’s like
peek-a-boo with her.
i think
we was something in a past life
coz in this one
we clash too much,
but that’s what’s so beautiful coz
opposites attract.
and yea…
i’m drawn to her;
and as you know
when magnets get close
they kinda resist before they lock.
it’s called energy
and she pours it on me.
i was saying how we met.
i don’t know, because it’s like we already knew each other.
it was like-
and it was like
“that sounds familiar”
and we went from a
hop, skip, to a jump and
we was just in it then.
in the thick of it!
but we just sat there
looking at each other
kinda lost in each other’s eyes
like dazed or something.
hell- i mean we both had been through
umm- hell,
but face to face
it was all innocent again-
giggles and stuff;
like childhood crushes.
i really can’t say how it all started-
just know it begun.
it’s like trying to trace where the ocean started-
just one day
it all came together/
i’m just saying
i can’t figure it out.
why should i?
it’s like
being on a cloud w/ her
sometimes it got a lil’rain and thunder in it.
we’re still open to the sun.
it’s like
holding hands when we write.
it’s like
hitting the funny bone-
it’s so crazy
the way things work.
i wish u hadn’t asked me to tell this story
coz now i’m thinking about her again
and she sorta sticks in my mind
and won’t leave.
she’s just there
massaging, massaging, massaging
my temples.
think, think, think
and u’ll figure out that
the answer and the problem
is all the same-
just let it be because
there’s nothing we do
when this thing bites us
called love.


There’s an old saying that goes-

“You learn something new everyday.”


This is heard a lot amongst the men in prison where there are new discoveries everyday (maybe new policies or the latest prison gossip).  I can bear witness to the numerous of things one discovers- from the radio, tv or books. And while I’m not surprised at the new things I find out, I often end up in awe about them.
I have one such discovery to share, and as a well-read 35 year-old it’s almost embarrassing, but hey- “You learn something everyday.”

Up until about a couple of years ago I didn’t know what an Almanac was! Yes, indeed. I’ve had dictionaries, thesauruses, even a seven-language dictionary, but I had never owned, nor seen, an Almanac. Maybe I had heard the name and I thought it was a book of maps or something (like an atlas). But, little did I know what I was missing.

Around 2 years ago someone was cleaning house and was trying to get rid of their Almanac. Being forever vigilant about good books I asked for the Almanac, because I had never had one.  And wow- I had no idea of the vast information it had. Next to the dictionary, this may be the most important book ever. It has EVERYTHING in it. I had no idea one book had compiled so many things.
The edition I got was 2005, nevertheless I relished it like a child opening gifts on Christmas day.
While I could cite an abundance of things in the Almanac that informed me and enlightened me, I’d like to share just one that stood out to me the most. I don’t quite know why this did. Perhaps because I never knew the depth of it (something that’s in our face daily), and that it came off almost occult like. And that is:
Code of Etiquette for Display and Use of the U.S flag
When to display it, flying at Half-staff, how to fly the flag, church use, how to dispose of worn flags, when to salute the flag, prohibited uses of the flag are some of the topics.
I’ll let you research all of that for yourself, but it sure was a fascinating discovery about what this government expects for its flag.

Now that I’ve gone through the Almanac front to back, it’s time for me to pass it along to. I have to give away good material such as this, but I must always keep in mind that so much more is ahead. We could live 100 life times and never learn everything about life, the world or the universe. So, as long as I’m living I truly look forward to “learning something new everyday.”



I was reading an interesting article in the Essence by Lottie L. Joiner called “The Power of Touch.” As with most material I read I try to reflect and see if the information pertains to what I’m currently going through or if I can utilize the information for what I’m going through. Then there’s information or stories that just resonate with me.

The above article spoke on scientific reasons why touch matters. And that hits home.
I live in an environment where touch is some parts taboo, restricted and prohibited. Prison causes touch to come under certain scrutiny. If you’re touchy-feely you’re gay or weak (which can lead to a person becoming a prey), if you touch (bump, step on) someone the wrong way it could lead to a fight.
Even still, guys find ways to subliminally feed the need of the skin.
As the article states:“The skin is the largest organ of the body and it has receptors that send messages to the brain. When someone touches you, the sense of being cared for gets transmitted to the brain.”

Maybe this is why basketball is so popular in prison. Sure, there’re some sports lovers, but when you touch someone the hormone oxytocin is released which promotes feelings of trust and well-being. So, it may be something to all the repeated bumping and fooling going on on the court.
Then you see guys with the elaborate handshakes, chest bumps and the traditional slap boxing. I’ve seen guys get hit pretty hard doing slap boxing and it ends in a shake and a hug. It’s not your typical holding the hand of someone you love (which University researchers in Indiana found decreases the stress hormone cortisol), but it is evidence of the outcry of the brain for treatment.

Some experts say the touch deprived is susceptible to health risk. “Their immune cells are reduced, their stress levels are increased, and they experience more pain”, says Tiffany Field, founder of the Touch Research Institute in Miami.

No wonder many men in Ad Seg get depressed, suicidal and have anger problems. In Ad Seg there is no human contact. As we’re seeing, it’s a lot of scientific reasoning behind this.
And it also gives us understanding to why most “prison relationships” don’t last. Most prisoners understand that our mates need companionship, and beside the loneliness there are body and brain urgencies that we now must factor in. It’s a hard knock life.

The article was enlightening and it could also prove good for prison officials and lawmakers when trying to rehabilitate prisoners and promote good behaviour. Just how good could a conjugal visit do for a prisoner and the prison setting? With reward for good behaviour (along with the proper health and security test) we could make prison more euphoric than chaotic. It says a lot towards politicians on how they really want prison to be.

As prisoners, we can’t treat ourselves to a day spa or manicure but perhaps a good handshake or a prayer circle could help. Prisons could have a class to wellness for Body, Mind and Soul where inmates gather to practice such techniques. Sadly, prison is more for inmates harvesting a field of crops than Yoga classes. But, we reap what we sow.

As we move into the future of a rising prison climate, worsening conditions and behaviors that return to society, everyone should re-evaluate just what we ask for when trying to improve our society (inside and out).
The power of touch- is more important than you think.


I have a confession to make. It’s probably not what you’d expect, but….I love Essence magazine. When I say love it, I simply adore and cherish it. While we are very communal in prison and share things among each other my Essence magazines may be one of the only things I won’t pass around (If I do I’m very selective of who gets it). Fifty percent of me feel like guys don’t TRULY grasp the make-up of it and the other fifty percent just doesn’t want to let it go, because page after page I find things that inspire me. Whether it is an article on African-American history of just pictures of what Black women are rocking in fashion these days, I love it. 

I’m an artist. As a poet I live off of imagination and the food of imagination is colors, pictures, sounds, words. Being a prison all 5 of my senses are limited and out right oppressed. So, to get an Essence full of smell goods, bright colors and even brighter smiles uplifts my 6th sense- my soul.

At the same time I have always been extremely inspired by women. Women writers/artist/poets have always affected me the most. It’s just what works for me. It’s just who I am. I’m inspired when I read about Winnie Mandela, Pieces by Asha Bandele or Iyanly Vanzant.  The October issues – my month! Libra in the house! It features Michelle Obama and I love me some Michelle Obama. I love her style, focus and elegance. I also love her peace. She’s a peace with who she is, what she has and wants to do and how she’s doing it.  It’s a place we all should want to get.

I’ve had female friends poke fun at about how much I love the Essence (I guess because sometimes I come off macho) but, a man that has no sensitive side is a cold man, frozen in a state of macho sickness. There’s nothing beautiful in that.

I’ve written much poetry after thumbing through the pages of Essence, everything from sultry sentences after seeing Sade or political chants after reading about Nelson Mandela’s glory days. It’s all there and as they’ve been showing us, it’s all in us. So, as I enjoy my pages of Essence I encourage any of you to experience this beautiful magazine and perhaps discover your own essence.


I’ve come to the realization that I have to refocus myself on all my endeavors. Being in General Population is a frenzy that has caused my objectives to become scattered. I’m no longer in an environment where I’m in a cell 22 hours a day and all I have to do is read and write. General population is a warped version of society where we work, battle supervisors and stress over day to day living. These distractions keep my mind and body occupied to where I’ve neglected my objectives. That distraction is over.

I’ve always believed that for to gain support I have to be my #1 supporter, and in that vision while people help me, I have to be the main pusher of those goals. Right now i am reorganizing my goals and objectives to gain my freedom. As once upon a time I stood I can’t depend on others. In some ways I’ve relaxed and put my faith in other people and while their intentions may be good, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This isn’t to say that my faith is misplaced, it’s just the realization that only you can build your dream house. I’m responsible for building my own dream house. People that love me may help me decorate it at some point, but I’m solely responsible for building this house. This is what I lost focus on, certain events in my life over the past 2 weeks have given me a reality check. It wasn’t just the slap of the situation that I faced, but also the reminder of who I am and what I came to do. I embrace the teachings of Growth and Development and the concept that progress comes in degrees and stages. For every step on the ladder there is a rung where you pause before you take the next step. I’ve paused! It’s time to take another step towards the top. NOW!


I rarely talk about life in prison. I rarely talk about the things I see on a daily basis, not just on a political platform, but on a personal basis to my family. I guess you can say it’s my personal belief that you all (family and friends) have enough to deal with in “that” world and then have to deal with the madness of “this” world. You surely couldn’t handle both. So I silently endure what I face, because after all why should others have to bear my mistake.

But, more and more I am coming to see the need to talk about certain things here, if not to invoke action but to enlighten. You can’t expect people to act on what they don’t know nor understand, right? So, little by little I want to begin to touch on some things that I face from day to day. It would be impossible in a blog to give a person a true vision of prison in Amerika today. In fact, not even a fleet of books could, because prisons differ from State to State, facility to facility, State and Federal and even regions within a state. Some go from the most extreme to the most juvenile. Each have ties that bind them regardless of the worlds that separate them. I can only give my little corner of the world and plant a seed of a broader link in common adversities and obstacles.

I’ll tell you right now, Texas is at the bottom of the barrel in every category: conditions, economy, rehabilitation. And as I watch the prison conditions decay, I fret not only for those here, but those that return to society malnourished (mentally, physically, and spiritually) and the families that must sit by and observe this. Maybe something I write will be a spark in someone’s mind and spirit. It’s not about pampering a person in prison, some people deserve to be here, it’s about what’s fair and humane, because at the flip of a switch it could be your people. It’s about being aware that what we inflict always comes back.

So from time to time I’ll share a story or two, or problem and we’ll see what we can stir up.

“Truth is only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence”. (Henri Frederic Amiel, swiss philosopher 1883).