I’ve come to the realization that I have to refocus myself on all my endeavors. Being in General Population is a frenzy that has caused my objectives to become scattered. I’m no longer in an environment where I’m in a cell 22 hours a day and all I have to do is read and write. General population is a warped version of society where we work, battle supervisors and stress over day to day living. These distractions keep my mind and body occupied to where I’ve neglected my objectives. That distraction is over.
I’ve always believed that for to gain support I have to be my #1 supporter, and in that vision while people help me, I have to be the main pusher of those goals. Right now i am reorganizing my goals and objectives to gain my freedom. As once upon a time I stood I can’t depend on others. In some ways I’ve relaxed and put my faith in other people and while their intentions may be good, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This isn’t to say that my faith is misplaced, it’s just the realization that only you can build your dream house. I’m responsible for building my own dream house. People that love me may help me decorate it at some point, but I’m solely responsible for building this house. This is what I lost focus on, certain events in my life over the past 2 weeks have given me a reality check. It wasn’t just the slap of the situation that I faced, but also the reminder of who I am and what I came to do. I embrace the teachings of Growth and Development and the concept that progress comes in degrees and stages. For every step on the ladder there is a rung where you pause before you take the next step. I’ve paused! It’s time to take another step towards the top. NOW!